The Sequel - Honest Sentiments
I continue to remind myself “it’s not all for naught”. Yet, from time to time, I revert to needing to understand why as a child I experienced what I did. It did dim my light; it did create a lack of trust; it did squash my wonder for the beauty of the world; and it did create seemingly unnecessary hardships.
Still now, there are times when I continue to search for the answer to “why” and yet, I know I may never make sense of what any answer could possibly reveal. So I shift my perspective and realize that at this time in my life, despite my lack of understanding, I can find healing in the fact I have moved forward and been able to find love, experience joy, to be the parent I wanted to be (though not a perfect one - I set the bar pretty high in that area). I have found and continue to experience moments of peace and laughter and have the capacity to feel love very deeply sometimes even for those whom I’ve never met before on this earthly plane. At the same time, I do allow for my humanness. Despite what I endured at such a young, vulnerable, innocent age, I know I must trust…trust that I know what came forth from these experiences has brought me to a point of learning to connect with my world in a different way; a way that works for me.
Though I don’t condone nor negate nor minimize what happened, I have recognized that if I didn’t find a way to alter my focus, shift my perspective, and live from a “different place of perception”, it would now be me holding the responsibility of completely extinguishing the flames of my own light left dim by the actions of another. Yet, instead, I choose to feed this light that is both my birthright and my key to a fulfilling life. I choose to recognize that not only did I survive but I also dug deep, syphoned out the poison that didn’t belong to me, and used that venom as the antidote I needed to navigate the secret’s aftermath and truly find hope in the healing.
This sequel holds my intention to present the parts of my life “beyond my original story” in a way that encourages you to find your own way to healing. I hope it makes you think, “If she can do it, I can too”! There’s no place for “perfect” in this journey to healing but there’s plenty of room for an abundance of awareness that will guide you to your next best choice and keep you on a path that will lead you to avenues for feeding the flames of your own light.